It is way too hot here, plus it’s allergy season, and I’ve been hard at work behind the scenes. So, today’s “Fun Fact Friday” is particularly goofy and fun! This week I read How to Survive a Human Attack: A Guide for Werewolves, Mummies, Cyborgs, Ghosts, Nuclear Mutants, and Other Movie Monsters, by K.E. Flann. This is clearly a very timely and important tome, as the author himself points out in the introduction:

“Let’s say you [a monster] can only be killed by a rare weapon found in the Amazon–this once meant a human would need to go on a long quest to procure the thing that could kill you. Today, that human has already ordered it on Amazon and it’s being overnighted to their doorstep.”

Flann, p. 3

It’s easy to see how the modern human world is full of pitfalls for an unsuspecting monster. 😉 Especially because now that we’re all on the internet and watching monster movies and even writing blogs about mythical research, information travels very quickly!

After a brief introduction and a short section on the “basics” of human society, How to Survive a Human Attack goes into eleven sub-sections for specific monsters. The goal of the book is to help various creatures fit in (to better find prey later on) and survive. For example, there’s a self-training manual for werewolves, a “Third Eye Security” user’s manual for mummies, and an emotions workbook for androids. One of my favorite sections was a guide to modern computers and social media for vampires . . . Not, of course, that I have any blood-sucking tendencies to hide; but I think at some level, everyone can relate to tech advice like:

“Turning Your Computer Off: No one really knows how to do this. Just close it. Complain when it doesn’t work until someone says, ‘Did you reboot it?’ And then say, ‘Shut up,’ and go into another room and try to locate a button somewhere. Mutter to yourself about the fiddly-dad until you find it. Promptly forget where it was.”

Flann, p. 198

Overall, I found the book to be extremely inventive and clever (not to mention scarily accurate, even if not accurately technical). I originally picked it up as potential inspiration for a short story or new character down the line, but I imagine horror or supernatural fans would love it too. And, of course, if you’re a masquerading monster of any kind, this book is a must-have (along with my congratulations for making it this far!). 😉

Official Citation

Flann, K. E. How to Survive a Human Attack: A Guide For Werewolves, Mummies, Cyborgs, Ghosts, Nuclear Mutants, and Other Movie Monsters. New York, NY: Running Press, 2021.

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